She’s pregnant, now what?
There is a lot going on between the two of your right now. We strongly recommend talking with your partner, as well as to a third party such as Family Life Services. Your opinion does matter. Make an appointment today for you and/or your partner to talk through your situations with one of our client advocates.
What do I do?
Be honest with her and yourself. Own and share what you’re feeling. You may be surprised to find that your partner shares your concerns.
Take your time. Schedule a confidential appointment to get some more information about your choices with a client advocate at FLS. Take the time to gather accurate information and make an informed decision together.
Keep the lines of communication open with your partner. You may be afraid, confused, or angry that this happened to you, but take a moment to think about how she must be feeling. Talk with her and listen to her. She needs you.
Educate yourself. Chances are that you know even less about pregnancy than she does. Make an appointment to learn about what is happening to your partner and what to expect during this time of change.
What not to do
Don’t run from your responsibilities. The more you avoid this situation, the harder things will get for all three of you – now and in the future. Regardless of what the future holds for your relationship, you can do the right thing right now. Be there. Support her.
Don’t stop communicating with her. Step up. Let her know your thoughts on the situation, and listen to hers. It is important to discuss each option and what each choice would look like for both of you. You and your partner may find it is helpful to talk with one of our client advocates to discuss your unique situation and to be informed about all of aspects of each option.
Don’t pressure her into anything. You need to work through this together because it affects both of you. Check out our options page and schedule a confidential appointment to learn about your options together. No matter what you choose – abortion, adoption, or parenting – it will change both of your lives forever. Don’t push her to do what you want. Make the choice together.
I want her to get an abortion
Abortion is a final decision. It is a serious decision; a medical procedure involving risks to a woman’s body and psyche. Legally, a woman has the right to choose abortion. But she also has the right not to choose it. She has the right to consider all of her options without extra pressure from you. It is a decision that she has to live with too. And this decision cannot be changed. Before you encourage this choice, we invite you to meet confidentially with one of our client advocates to learn a bit more about the procedure and risks involved. Know your facts before you encourage any choice. An informed decision is the best decision for you and for her, and it can best be made without pressure. Your opinion does matter; this affects you too. But make sure that you are also taking her thoughts and feelings into account before pushing her toward a decision.
Are you hurting from a past abortion decision? Since abortion is a final decision, we strongly encourage both men and women involved in a pregnancy to seek informative counseling with one of our client advocates beforehand. However, some men are not able to be a part of the decision-making process, or they regret the abortion they were a part of choosing. Family Life Services offers support and healing to any man who has been affected by an abortion decision. Check out our post-abortion recovery page or schedule a confidential appointment to begin the healing process.
If you’ve just learned you are going to be a father, this could be a confusing time for you. Below are some questions that may be running through your mind:
- What do I do?
- Has she taken a lab-quality pregnancy test?
- How much does an abortion cost?
- Should we consider adoption?
- Do I have what it takes to be a dad?
- What will this do to our relationship?
- How will this affect my goals and dreams?
- Does it even matter what I think?
We understand that this time is overwhelming. Don’t make rash decisions where your child and your partner are concerned. Schedule a confidential appointment to speak with a client advocate at FLS to discuss your situation. Your thoughts matter and your opinion is valid. Just make sure you have all the information so you can make an informed decision with your partner about your next steps.